Cousin

Friday. My younger cousin called this morning to invite me to visit at his new condo. I had met his new wife for the first time at dinner last night. Very slim in built, my new sister-in-law a very smart and well educated young lady (actually a couple of months older than me). They are expecting their first (and only) baby in March. I heard the new policy in China is that a couple can have two kids if both parents are from one-child families. Not sure if many people are taking advantage of the one-child policy reform since it takes so much resources and energy here just to raise one. The stay-at-home-mom thing is more of a western phenomenal. In China it is looked down on to not be part of the workforce regardless of the gender, marital status or whether or not there are any kids in the family.

Most people are well aware of the old traditional Chinese bias for boys in order to carry down the family name, land, wealth and etc. Just about all kids adopted from China are girls. Because of this bias there is now a noticeable imbalance between the number of male and females in the country. Many adult males, especially in smaller villages, are unable to find suitable mates because of the gender imbalance. The government has been combating such gender bias since the first day there was a government back in 1949. The government has been known to denounce any kind of organized religion but what’s not talked about much outside of China is also its long and hard battle against unfair and unjust traditional mores such as gender bias. Along with the one-child policy introduced in the late 70s are also rampant propagandas on girls are just as good as boys. To reinforce the message and prevent people from aborting girl babies during pregnancy, the government outlawed ultrasound scans to find out the baby’s sex prior to birth. Of course, like any law there are people who find ways to go around it but it is seen as a very shameful and backward thing to do, not accepted by the mainstream population.

I went grocery shopping with my cousin and had lunch with them at home. Their 13^th floor condo has three bedrooms and 1 ½ bath, pretty roomy by Chinese standard. 13^th floor is ok, only #4 is omitted in many buildings here as it is seen as the number of death. Condos are sold by the square meter ranging from a few thousand to tens of thousands per square meter.

My sister-in-law has been under a lot of stress on getting doctor’s notes for work and applying for the right paperwork to have the baby. Unlike everywhere else in the world, to have a baby in China you actually have to apply and receive a permit. The process can be long, confusing and frustrating to say the least. To start, a family has to provide copies of the marriage certificate, health certificates, government issued identification and proof for legal residency status for both parents. Then there are a number of forms and government agency involved. If you work for a government owned business/organization, you are allowed to get notarized paper works from your workplace; if not, you will need to find the person responsible for family planning in your neighborhood to have the proper recommendation. Back when I was born, partially in order to enforce the one-child policy, there was a family planning specialist in every company/organization and neighborhood who oversaw the permit application process. There can be many unexpected hiccups in the process especially when both parents are from different places from where they currently reside or work. Kids born without the proper paper works will have extremely difficult time to qualify for government healthcare and education. Needless to say except for special circumstances each family is only allowed one birth permit. In order to cultivate more tall people in China there is likely no birth limit for tall basketball stars like Yao.